


this world of ours

by NeverNothing



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Kenma cares y'all, M/M, Post-Timeskip, discussions of coming out, mentioned Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28882095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverNothing/pseuds/NeverNothing
Summary: "Kenma, how come you never mention me on stream?"Kuroo asks that one question that had been bothering him for a while now.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 28
Kudos: 315





	this world of ours

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Since I deactivated my twitter, I thought it would be a good idea to post one other (longer) twitter thread fic that I have written last year on here after editing it. If some of you read this, thinking it seems familar, this would be the reason!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading~

"Kenma, how come you never mention me on stream?"

The question came completely out of the blue. Kenma frowned and turned towards the voice, Kuroo’s, who was leaning against the door frame. Kenma himself had just turned off his camera and closed his recordings, having just finished a stream, and his tiredness was making his annoyance spike. 

His retort was blunt. "What are you talking about? I mention you plenty. Everyone knows you."

Kuroo sighed and scratched his neck. Kenma wasn’t wrong. "Kuro" was a name every loyal viewer of his would know. There were tons of episodes of Kenma’s personal life, past and present, that involved Kuroo that Kenma retold on his streams. They were a fan favourite, even, spurring the making of countless compilations. Especially those, when Kuroo interrupted him during streams to make sure he ate or hydrated. 

But that wasn't what Kuroo was referring to.

"I mean me, as your boyfriend." Kuroo said with an odd finality to his tone.

Kenma turned quiet. He didn’t know what to say. "Oh."

"Yeah." Kuroo cleared his throat. He was still leaning against the door frame but he seemed restless.

It was true. Kenma usually dodged the issue when he got questions on his relationship status, either changing the topic or answering unclearly. He wasn’t aware that Kuroo had minded.

Kuroo was well aware that Kenma wanted to maintain his privacy. Considering how he had no qualms about asking Kuroo to appear on stream, however, it made him question. There was no question Kuroo was part of his private life, the lines were already blurring. It was hard for him to grasp what made Kenma hesitate to take it one step further, to just open up about what they were for each other. As again, in Kuroo’s eyes, the answer was clear.

Kenma considered Kuroo with one of his gazes, the one that seemed to bare any hidden thoughts his boyfriend harboured. 

"Are you," he paused, speaking slowly and thoughtful, weighing the taste of his words on his tongue before speaking, "questioning - how I feel about you?"

Voice soft, Kuroo startled and hurriedly backtracked. "That's not what i meant."

Without his conscious input, he had closed the distance between Kenma, who was still sitting on his gaming chair, looking up at him, and himself. His hands reached out to cradle Kenma's face. Now, his voice took a calmer note.

"I would never question the way you feel about me, kitten." His breath was a whisper as he leaned his head against Kenma's. Enjoying the closeness between them and feeling Kenma's breath against his face, Kuroo allowed himself to relax. Next, he crouched down in front of Kenma's chair, grasping Kenma's hands in his and resting them on Kenma's lap.

Kuroo collected his thoughts. "It's just-" he paused and reconsidered what he wanted to say. Reconsidered what exactly it was that had been bothering him enough to speak up.

In the end, his reasoning was quite simple. "It's just, we never made it a secret to begin with, I don't see the point of it, hiding such a huge part of your life. Isn't it exhausting?"

Even during his streams, even though they weren't out to Kenma’s viewers, they did not behave any differently from each other than they usually would - Kenma would still lean against him, Kuroo would reach out to him and pull him closer.

Of course, there was no PDA - Kenma hated it and Kuroo was fine with not kissing his boyfriend on stream even if the way he seemed to glow when interacting with his viewers sometimes made it difficult to hold back. But still, even when watched by thousands of people during Kenma's streams, or the millions of views that his uploads would get, Kuroo had never felt the urge to hide himself or who he was. He still felt like he was being authentically himself - ugly laugh that Kenma still routinely dragged him for and all. From the way Kenma behaved himself in those instances, he knew he felt the same. So why was Kenma denying that one missing step? What difference would it make? Kuroo didn’t understand. 

He explained these thoughts to Kenma, still clutching his hands and still in his crouched form, almost kneeling in front of him.

While he had been speaking, Kenma's mouth opened in a silent "oh" and when Kuroo had finished the explanation, Kenma's cheeks were burning. He averted his eyes with a pout but Kuroo knew he was thinking about his words.

The picture was irresistible so Kuroo did not hold himself back from dropping a lingering kiss on a burning cheek. Then, he was searching for Kenma's gaze again. This time, Kenma didn't avoid it.

Instead, he seemed ready to talk. "I did mention I was in a relationship."

Again, that was true. It had sent his fanbase in a frenzy, twitter trending. But never had he mentioned Kuroo's name. No one seemed to notice that he was using the word "Kuro" and "my partner" almost synonymously. At this point, Kenma's following believed Kenma had a girlfriend when all Kuroo wanted was to be Kuro, kodzuken's boyfriend. He just wanted people to know, not only him but also this vital part of his relationship to Kenma. It wasn’t the same, only being his childhood friend. Kuroo had spent too much time only being that that he disliked being reduced to it now that they were finally more.

"But you never mentioned me. That I," he stressed this, "am your boyfriend. Why? Are you uncomfortable?"

The thought hadn't occurred to him before but now that he was regarding the issue once again, it seemed obvious. He didn’t have the time to question the thought that popped up in his head, so he just said it out loud instead. "Kenma, do you not want people to know you are dating a man?"

As if speaking it out cleared his perspective, Kuroo remembered the countless times Kenma referred to him as his "partner"- perfectly gender neutral.

"Kuro- I-" once again, Kenma was avoiding his gaze, Kuroo loathed it.

"Hey," he said, "if that's what's stopping you, it's okay."

Coming out as gay was difficult, even now and even to an audience that was by far more accepting than the outside world. Kuroo would never demand anything of Kenma that would make him feel uncomfortable. He thought Kenma knew about that.

Patiently, Kuroo was waiting for Kenma's reply. And while he was waiting, he observed every single motion of Kenma's face, no matter how insignificant. It was always one of the things Kuroo loved most. There still was a blush on Kenma's face, his eyes widened into more than just surprise. Then, his forehead furrowed and his nose scrunched. A shiver was running down Kuroo's spine before Kenma even said anything, recognizing that expression well enough. It was only seconds before Kenma exploded at him, by his standards at least.

"Why would I care about people knowing you are a guy? I know that obviously! Why would I mind people thinking I’m dating a man? I don’t care." His tone was biting even if he didn’t mean it.

Kuroo gaped. "I- what-," he huffed. If that was not the case, Kuroo ran out of reasons. He had been wracking his head over this too many times to be able to count and still came out empty. "Then why?"

Kenma was restlessly twitching in his seat, his frustration obvious. Then, he took a deep breath to calm himself. Finally, he eyed Kuroo with a much more composed expression. "I know that my field of work is much more accepting, especially of sexual minorities, Kuro. I am not afraid of backlash because of that. More than that, I think my viewers would have a field day knowing, representation and all - plus, if you're worrying about my teammates, they all know anyway. You said it before, it's not like we're hiding our relationship."

Since the four years of his pro-gaming career, Kuroo had met Kenma’s teammates countless times before. He vividly remembered it now: While he wasn’t directly introduced as Kenma’s boyfriend, the comments Kenma’s teammates had made showed clearly that they knew they were dating - that one embarrassing evening when they both left drunkenly huddled together, laughing and followed by catcalls, only further cemented this assessment.

Nonetheless, it didn’t help Kuroo to answer the question that had been bothering him. "But then why? Why won't you just say it?" By now, his heels were starting to hurt due to his crouched position but Kuroo refused to move. 

"Kuro. My field might be accepting. but-" Kenma was hesitating, his fingers finally returning the tight hold Kuro had on his. "- yours isn't."

The last two were akin to a punch to the face, making him unable to speak. Kuroo only responded with silence, so Kenma continued with a crooked, somewhat sad smile. "If I publicly announce I'm dating you, everyone would know. Everyone, Kuro.

“You have to talk to sponsors, organize events. Everyone is so much older than you are and we both know how the older generation looks at what we have, heck, both of us are lucky enough our parents are being so accepting and loving about our relationship. The real world isn't like that - and more than I am, you are very much part of that world. I don't want to make things harder on you."

Kuroo was still gaping as Kenma's words sank in. Feeling completely overwhelmed by the plethora of emotions he was experiencing, it was now him who averted his gaze. Now it was him who was blushing, raising a hand to his nose in the embarrassed gesture that had become a habit when he had still been a child.

"You were being considerate of me." Kuroo pointed out the obvious. 

"There are two people in a relationship, Kuro. Of course I think of you,” Kenma replied evenly.

Every word that Kenma said made it worse. With a moan, Kuroo tipped forward. His head leaned against Kenma's legs and his face was burning. Any argument that Kuroo had prepared in advance died on his lips. How could he say anything when Kenma was doing it for his sake? His chest felt tight and Kuroo Tetsurou could not believe how immensely in love he was with his boyfriend. He heaved.

Meanwhile, Kenma's hand had wandered into his hair, idly pulling on the strands that, while not as wild as when they were teenagers, still distinctly looked like his bed hair. 

"You okay?" He asked softly.

Kuroo groaned once again. "Give me a bit, I'm processing."

Kenma's soft chuckle was ringing in Kuroo's ear and Kuroo felt light. He was still feeling way too embarrassed but he turned his head to face Kenma. Resting his arms on Kenma's lap, he supported his head while staring up at his boyfriend. He knew he was grinning but he just couldn't help it.

"You love me." His tone was definitely bragging.

Kenma snorted. "What gives you that impression." His tone was flat and Kuroo's heart fluttered in his chest.

"I really have the best boyfriend," he confidently asserted

Kenma hummed, brushing his hair away so he had a better view of Kuroo's face. "Debatable," he only replied.

Puffing, Kuroo's eyes turned into sharp slits, a silent command "to not fight him on this."

With another soft laugh, Kenma obliged, still idly pulling at Kuroo's hair. It was relaxing.

"Is that alright?" He asked.

The question caught Kuroo off guard, his will to argue had been depleted. But instead of feeling like he had lost, Kuroo felt like he had just won the world. "Of course it is, I hadn't considered my own situation. I'm glad you did. But why do you ask?"

"Well-" with his free hand, Kenma scratched his nose. “I decided on this without asking you first. We should have talked about this earlier."

Huffing out a laugh, Kuroo sighed. "Yeah"

Resting his head on the arms he had crossed over Kenma's lap, he was thoughtful. "I guess it just never came to my mind that telling people I am dating you might be a bad thing. It just really doesn't feel like that."

"Yeah," Kenma's voice was breathless. "I feel the same. Still usually you're the one who is way more aware of these kinds of social implications. How come you hadn't thought of this?"

"Ah," suddenly annoyed, he only felt the skin of his own arms instead of Kenma, Kuroo buried his arms underneath Kenma's legs and rubbed his face against the sweats-clad skin of Kenma's thigh. "Maybe because I still end up having to deal with people I know from high school? Considering so many of them went pro. They all know anyway. It doesn't feel like a big deal. I guess I haven’t thought about people outside of that circle much."

Once again, Kenma hummed. "Do you still want me to tell them?"

"Would you?" His voice was neutral.

"If you're fine with it." 

Once again Kenma wanted to accommodate him, it warmed his heart. He sighed, content. "I should think about it, I think. About what you said, I haven't considered the implications of it before. Thank you."

A thumb was brushing against his cheek - Kenma. "Of course."

Hugging Kenma's legs to his chest, Kuroo felt more comfortable than his position might suggest. He had already forgotten about the far-away ache. "Kenma."

"Mhmm?" Kenma was still idly brushing through Kuroo’s hair, making a mess out of it. Which was fine, no one but Kenma would see anyway.

"I love you."

"Ah," Kenma laughed, once again and Kuroo felt himself fall deeper. "I love you, too, Kuro."

One day, Kuroo thought. One day, they could tell the world.

Until then, this would be fine. They loved each other.

**Author's Note:**

> And as always, thank you!


End file.
